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FAHFAHAWAY ©

There is no greater agony
than bearing an untold story
inside you
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ᴹᵃʸᵃ ᴬⁿᵍᵉˡᵒᵘ

(ಢ౪ಢ)

Aliffah, or Fah
Artist, Creator,
Educator, Storyteller

UEN 53355688X
heyf4h@gmail
CV-Portfolio (Mar-2022)

⭐ ⭐ ⭐

Writing
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📅 In Paper and Pen (Unedited) - 2014


As Mayu drafts out her illustration on the postcard, she begins to feel bad towards the boy. She shouldn’t have been so mean to him, and instead should have regarded him neutrally. It wasn’t his fault that see could see ghosts – and she definitely shouldn’t have been prejudiced into thinking all ghosts are bad. Mayu looks on as the auburn-haired boy flips the pages of The Red Sky in The Morning by Elizabeth Laird. He doesn’t look much older than herself. It is now their third day together in the library. No one seems to notice him at all, so they most definitely cannot hear him either. She recalls him explaining to her the differences between his kind just moments ago.

Apparently, ghosts and spirits are different than apparitions. Apparitions are just visions of ghosts and spirits in the form of vapour and shadows. Ghosts are dead people coming back to life in the form of – as the boy had coined it – ‘paranormal material’. They take on the form of their previous life in terms of appearance, characteristics and behaviour – as with speech, too, where applicable.

“Ghosts have met their ends, and they linger on because it’s their decision even if made subconsciously,” the boy explained. “Spirits, however, are usually the ones stuck between this life and the next – like me,” Mayu nods along with the boy as he finished. Before she could ask him a question, he blurted a whopping bellow as Mayu absent-mindedly tread her fingers on the still wet paint, smudging the inks on her assignment paper.

Mayu has been able to see ghosts since she was young. Normally, they are mischievous beings that enjoy disgruntling humans. According to the divisions that was mentioned by the boy, Mayu has seen more ghosts than spirits.

“How do they normally appear to you?” the curiosity gleamed in the boy’s eyes.

“They don’t show their faces to me. I don’t recall being able to see their faces,” Mayu thought.

“So you’ve never met spirits before, besides me?” the boy probed.

“Not that I can remember. Oh wait, there was one... No, two! There was the cat I had found some time ago after school. I tried to feed it but then it wouldn’t eat anything. I found out that its name was Pablo, but from then on it vanished when I called out its name. Then there was Nora, who I saw at the cemetery. She was next to Mother’s grave and wouldn’t stop crying. She didn’t understand why no one can see her until I told her that she died.”

“Oh, wow. What happened to Nora?”

“I don’t know what happened to her but I said, ‘Nora, it’s okay. There are people who will still visit you again,’ and then she vanished.” The boy responded with a quizzical look at Mayu. She didn’t understand what that meant but he carried on.

“And you’re not afraid of them, Mayu?”

She hesitated. Of course she was afraid, but as she grew up the fear lulled. She had asked Mother before, what the shadows that she saw in her kindergarten classroom were. Eventually, she understood that it’s an ability. She had tried talking to them before but they will evade her. Mayu hasn’t gotten a full understanding of her ability, so she does still fear them in case they will actually bring her harm.

“Of course I still am. Ghosts or spirits, whatever. I was afraid of you, remember?” Mayu eventually answered. The boy sat in his chair, deep in thought. He swore she was more annoyed at him than afraid when they first met. Or maybe the fear had manifested itself into anger. This girl is complicated, he realized. Are girls my age this complicated? To spare the trouble of worrying about her, he brought her back to focus on her assignment.

Mayu is required to complete a school holiday assignment whereby she has to illustrate 10 postcards on 10 storybooks that she has read over the break. While she loved the idea of putting together the two things she enjoys doing into one creative homework, she is worried. Mayu is a slow reader and she takes quite a long while to come up with a nice composition for her illustrations. What’s more, she has to do ten of it! She struggled with her first story. It had taken her four days to finish reading a book as well as illustrating the postcard, which, according to her classmates, needed an average of two days only. Then, on the second book, she was approached by the boy. He initially whispered the summary of Room 13 to her in an earshot but she didn’t listen. She thought he was pulling her leg like the other ghosts. She wasted two days reading the book only to find out he was telling the truth; helping her even. She had told him to buzz off then but she felt bad about it now. He approached her anyway, and has been helping her since then.

“Red Sky in the Morning is about Anna’s handicapped baby brother who struggles with illness. It’s a real tear-jerker story though. Anna’s brother is called Ben, and he is suffering from an illness that makes his head grow bigger every day. She juggles between caring for Ben, going to school and trying to talk with the boy she likes. Ben eventually dies, but instead of being sappy, Anna comes strong as she prays that the brother is now released from his pain.” Mayu jots down the notes incessantly before inspiration hit her. She quickly sketches out the composition that is in her head onto the postcard-sized paper before sinking into her chair, satisfied with the outcome. She’s getting better at sketching out her ideas. In just over three days, she’s completed four illustrations. The boy has certainly helped her a lot. Indeed, he really loves books. He has read almost all of the books that Mayu picked out. She shoots a look at the boy and hands him the next book to condense.

“Oh, wow. I think you can read this book on your own right now. It’s a really interesting book, easy enough for you to read and digest the content on your own,” Mayu takes the book from the boy’s hands and begins to read. Something about the words in the book catches her attention. She couldn’t stop turning the pages. They are filled with poems, short verses of stories that, when put together, creates a very big, dreamy picture about love, life and experience. When she was done, Mayu reads the title of the book and its author.

“Love and Misadventure by Lang Leav,” Mayu appraised the cover page. The boy gave a slow, approving nod. Mayu scribbled notes of her fresh emotions right onto the postcard, her hands moving with life on their own, creating a fitting draft composition for the story she had just read. This is the reason why Mayu loves books. It’s these emotions that tug at her heartstrings that makes her dive into the world of literature. The emotions, even if fictional, are real. They allow her to make believe of the possibilities the world can offer. For a moment, she can forget about the darkness and fear of the ability to see the supernatural. Right now though, she cannot continue her reading assignment. Mayu is exhausted.

“I think I'm done for the day. I’m left with three books and plenty of time,” Mayu beams.

“Haha, yeah, you’re welcome, princess. Well done finishing another three books today,” the boy did a slow clap for her. “I can’t imagine your progress without my help.” A hearty laugh escape the boy’s lips and Mayu can’t help but laugh along.

“I know, and I'm sorry. It’s just–“

“Save your sorry ass for another time. Right now, you have done well. You deserve a good rest. It’s all in the past now, it’s fine,” Mayu can’t help but notice that the boy’s facial expression had dropped. There is a mixture of emotions with that tone – disappointment, exasperation, loneliness. She can’t put her finger on it but something was wrong.

Mayu went home and she thought about the boy. His features are exactly like that of a human. There aren’t any hints that suggest he is a spirit – except, well, his really pale skin. Besides that, his hair, his clothes, even the faint smell of cologne, were all very human characteristics. What did she not see? What did she not understand? She drift off to sleep, anticipating the next day, hoping that she can get the chance to ask him some of her queries that she’s been itching to ask.

= = =

“Wenny Has Wings is my favourite book! What a way to end your draft jobs, Mayu,” the boy is jumping in his seat with excitement. Suddenly, he didn’t seem as old as Mayu thought he would be.

“It’s a lovely book, really pure and innocent,” the boy started. “Will writes to his sister, Wenny, during his recovery, while his neglecting parents struggle to cope with their own defeated expectations.” What in the world is he saying, Mayu exclaimed inside herself.

“What are you talking about?”

“The book. Will is the protagonist who writes letters to his sister, Wenny, when they got into an accident. Their parents are too absorbed in their own negative emotions that they fail to see Will’s struggles,” he pointed out. Mayu was still confused by the sudden explosion of explanations. She couldn’t orientate herself on where this conversation is going to. The boy sees Mayu’s confusion and sighed.

“Wenny died.”

Comprehension dawns on Mayu and once again, that bitter, apologetic feeling sting her. She knows that she has somehow hurt the boy. How can she be so clueless and inconsiderate? Mayu begins drawing on the postcard, drafting out the composition she will illustrate carefully while praying that she can disappear for the moment. She hears the slap of a book closed shut and looks up from her work. A gentle smile plays on the boy’s lips as he regards the saddened Mayu. He shakes his head, in what Mayu guessed to be either humour or spite.

“You haven’t offend me. Don’t worry about it,” the boy started. “While we are alive, we worry too much. We bow down to apologize too much. Why are you so apologetic all the time? Chin up, look on the brighter side of things and be thankful. There’s a lot of things to see and do. Seize them.” As he looks into the distance outside the window, he glances towards Mayu from the corner of his eyes. There is a tugging from deep within Mayu’s chest. There was a need to utter something, but she can’t figure out what. She realized she has never spoken to him first, and then it hit her. She knows what’s missing.

“Hey, can I ask you a question?” Mayu stills her nerves – they were making their way up her body real fast. It’s making her feel nauseous. The boy turns to face her, snapping away from the window.

“What if I write you letters too, like how Will does for Wenny?” The boy cocks his head to one side, puzzled by her question. “If I write to you about the books I’ve read like I'm writing a journal, will you be able to reply me from the next life?”

“Haha I don’t know for sure, but you can try,” that’s the tone – Mayu has hit a nerve. His tone changed, and she realized that this is the chance. It is now or never.

“Do you realize that I never knew your name?” his eyes widened; Mayu’s theory was right. “Whenever I try to ask you about yourself, you get tensed and try to run away. It’s like you’re doing this on purpose,” his jaws clenched. “I would love to try writing to you, but I don’t even know your name, or anything about you. How would I know what to say if you don’t tell m–”

“Stop! Please, don’t ask,” the look on his face silenced Mayu immediately despite his pleading whisper. The shattered look, as if something was tearing him right apart, was clear on his face. That night, Mayu returned home with an empty feeling despite the success of finishing all of her 10 sketches. A curious girl since young, Mayu had always been fascinated by the supernatural, even if they may be a little terrifying. She thought she had read all about them, but it seems she didn’t know enough.

The boy she met in the library is something else. She didn’t know what, and her curiosity only pushed him away. Why was finding out his name such a forbidden thing? Now she fears that she will not be able to see him again. She has to thank him properly though. She has an idea, the perfect gift. She prays that they can meet for the last time – even spirits have feelings.

= = =

It’s been a week and there is still no signs of the boy. With one more week to go, Mayu has completed eight postcards. She has constantly been to the library, sitting at the same table she and the boy occupied on the top floor in the corner of the young adult section. Her guilt piles as the holiday gradually comes to an end without her formal display of gratitude to the spirit of the boy that had helped her. As Mayu musters the courage to swallow the fact that she is the cause for the sudden disappearance of the boy, a book is placed on the table in front of her. Mayu looks up to see the boy standing in front of her. There is a big difference with his appearance today – he dons a white robe, his hair pulled back into a neat fringe backcomb and he smells of lavender. He appears like any other 16 year-old.

He takes a seat in front of her, his hands stay firmly on the hardcover of Wenny Has Wings. Mayu was nervous. Something is not right. Her guts clenched as they prepare for impending bad news.

“I did hold back some things from you,” the boy started. “Spirits, as I’ve mentioned before, are the ones stuck between this life and the next. They linger on because they have 40 days after death to be at peace with themselves since there are some who passed suddenly due to accidents and the likes. The probation period is to help them cope with their own departures and settle their mortal memories.” Mayu covers her mouth for fear a cry would escape.

“During the 40-day probation, spirits return to places they feel strongly for, or is of significant importance to them. The library is important to me because it was my refuge from a destructive home. I made friends with books, and the books showed me the world. When you first came into the library, picking out my favourite titles, I thought maybe I am able to be friends with you. I knew you could see me, so I came over. Nothing has made me happier than sharing my love for books – especially my favourite titles.

I was able to hold on to books and papers because they are the material of my strongest attachment. I can’t hold on for long though – I’ll get burnt. It really hurts,” he chuckled as he removes his hands from the book on the table, the palm of his hands turn bright red.

“When spirits give away their identity to gifted humans during their probation, they will no longer be able to satisfy their mortal memories. Needless to say, their stay is cut short the moment their name is mentioned." Mayu felt weak.

"Today will be the day I take my leave. I came back to face you to wish you good luck. And to thank you for bringing me happiness on my last days here.”

Mayu gets up from her seat, eager to make amends with her friend. She takes out the piece of paper from inside her bag and hands it to him. The boy stares at the piece of paper, perplexed by her sudden gesture.

“If possible, take this with you,” Mayu flushes. “I would like to thank you for all that you’ve done to help me. If anything, you’ve made me fall more in love with books.” Mayu confidently looks up to face the boy. He returns her confidence with a charming smile and takes the piece of paper.

“Thank you, Mayu. My name is Kio,” he fades into the background, vanishing into thin air.

= = =

When Mayu wakes up the next morning, she eyes a piece of paper on her table. On closer look, it is the piece of paper she had given to Kio the night before. It is a postcard with an illustration piece on its front side. A boy with auburn hair sits at a table together with a girl with black, shoulder-length hair. Towers of books surround them, the pastel shades of watercolour provides a nostalgic touch. Mayu didn’t have to wonder why the postcard is back with her. Kio didn’t want her to forget him, and this is the first step to an everlasting memory.

She flipped to the underside of the postcard, opens the cap of her pen and begins to write down her first letter. Mayu writes, “Dear Kio...”



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📅 Timelapse test with sketch (Low Quality)


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📅 Flowers of Fatimah 2017 Exhibition at Wak Tanjung Mosque


Printed and mounted; sizes vary between A0, A1 and A4















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📅 Singapore Polytechnic — Jumba Mascot







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📅 Singapore Polytechnic — Mural Design for Two 7Mx2M Walls



The First Wall, a splash design.
Took inspiration from the motivational quote "The sky's the limit". Blue is the color focus as it represents the sky,
and its secondary impact serves to create calmness and assurance. A smoky, cloud effect is applied on the edges to emphasize the sky effect.
The little illustrations are the visual representations of the CCAs in SP.

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The Second Wall is divided into two for ease of printing and arrangement.
Prompted by the client, a Wall of Words was completed that took
immediate sample of the Azkaban Daily from the Harry Potter movies.
The client needed a space where students can walk by a makeshift 'Wall of Fame' with
photos of significant episodes and achievements being printed and framed up.

In order to fill in the spaces, a carefully crafted system of lyric selection was done.
Should viewers take the time to appreciate the wall further, they will be able to identify
and relate. The aim is to create a further deep, personal impact of sense of self and
confidence in not only the students, but anyone who walks by and catches a glimpse of the lyrics.

The following are some parts from both the Wall of Words piece.





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📅 Cheers for Beers


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📅 every night with tigger



title is a true story. my partner gave me this humongous tigger doll to sleep with while he's away for 3 months in Redmond.
according to him, the tigger bears part of his mana, and since i really like tiggers, this investment's worth is two-folds. ♥

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